Anyone and everyone who's had a conversation with me over the past 3 weeks has heard me talk about my upcoming show at Yuk Yuk's in Calgary. My first set at a REAL comedy club. Not a bowling alley lounge, or a bar, or the mezzanine overlooking racquetball courts, but a place that exists entirely for stand up. Going into this show, I really built it up in my mind to be a huge deal. I had so many thoughts bouncing around my skull.
"There could be agents there."
"The Yuk's bookers might love me, and offer me a guest spot on an upcoming show, or maybe even sign me on the spot!"
"Maybe the host or headliner will decide that I'm a guy he HAS to work with, and offers to bring me along for his bookings."
"I can't wait to play in front of a huge crowd of dedicated comedy fans."
Another local comic, Zachary Landry, took the trip down to Calgary with me. He had done this same Pro/Am show once before, and said it wasn't that big of a deal. I wasn't buying it though. I was convinced that this was going to be THE SHOW that moved me up the comedy ladder.
We walk in about 30 minutes before showtime to sign in and meet the room managers. The walls are covered in signed pictures of some the best comedians in the world, both past and present, who have performed there before. I was about to stand on the same stage that they stood on. That wasn't helping my nerves. The other comics arrived, and I knew most of them already. It calmed me down a bit to see some familiar faces. Some of them are really successful, but most were newer and still figuring it all out like me. That helped. Also, the crowd was pretty sparse, only about 20 people came. That was a double edged sword, because I'm used to small crowds, but a big part of my reason for coming in the first place was to try my set in front of a big audience.
Not only was the crowd small, they were quiet too. The host and the first comic couldn't get the energy up too high (not for lack of trying), and now it's my turn. I turn on my video recorder and head up to the stage.
It went...OK...
I was nervous, but, on watching my recording, it didn't show too much. But I was quiet and monotone, with way too many "uhs", and "umms". I wanted to make a big impact in that room, and just didn't have it. It wasn't my best set, but was far from my worst. To be kind to myself, all the comics had a rough time engaging the timid crowd. I saw some comics I respect do some great bits to pretty tepid results.
The difference is, to them this was just another show. To me this was supposed to be THE show. That was a slap in the face. One set isn't going to magically turn everything around. There's probably going to be dozens, maybe hundreds of nights like this in the future for me, and after all those shows I still might be right where I am now.
I'd like to think I'm one of the best comics in Red Deer, but in Calgary I was just another one in a hundred trying to get noticed. Trying to stand out and prove I'm ready for more. Last night showed me that I might not be ready yet, and that I can't sit back and expect someone to "save me". I have to focus on the process. Getting better and more consistent so that when I walk into a room like that, my skills are undeniable. I want to be able to take a cold room and own it. I've seen the best ones do that.
But I can't.
Yet.
A little down, but not out
B
