Wednesday, 15 June 2022

Biggest Year of My Life: Part 2 (New Path)

 I write this from the place I'll be sleeping soon. This is because Danielle and I are seperating...

Breaking up, splitting, "conscious uncoupling", whatever you want to call it. The romantic phase of our relationship is over. But doesn't mean we don't love each other, or that we're not going to be in each other's lives forever. 

There's zero hate between us. A little awkwardness maybe sure. But we're still a team. She's ok. I'm ok. The kids know, and are handling it well. The goal here is for us both to be better. Happier. That's the plan.

It's not that simple of course. It's going to take time and struggle for us to get to that better place. There's issues that we haven't even thought about that are going to rear up on us. Feelings we think we're prepared for but probably aren't. 

But we've been moving towards this almost a year. After some heavy setbacks and a lot of careful thought, it's happening. 

And sure, I'm hurting. I didn't think I wanted this. There are moments where I wish it wasn't happening. But it is. And I can feel all of that, but still be hopeful for the future. Sure starting over is tough, but good things are coming. I know they are. Hopefully for both of us. We want to show our children that you can chase happiness. That they can build the life they truly want. 

I get to go find that now. I have a new career with tons of upside that's going to change my life. And now I get to find someone new to share that life with. And they get someone new as well. I'm not the same person I was even a year ago. I'm on way more medication now. 

Our marriage was not a failure. We shared thousands of great moments. And we brought three unique and amazing people into this world. We did that together. We got each other here. But all that growth we did beside each other took us to different places. Now it's time to let go. 

So now I take the lessons that 18 years with someone has taught me into the next chapter. I'm far from perfect. But I'm trying to own my flaws, and keep growing, and maybe even have a little love and forgiveness for myself inspite of them. 

I guess the next step now is to thrive in my new spot (huge thanks to John for letting me take over his place for the summer). And then I gotta put myself out there. Make some messes. Probably get hurt. Maybe cause some back as I figure this out. But the theme of this year is that things can never be as hard as they have been over the last 6 months. All of that struggle prepared me for this. A couple of bad dates are nothing now. Dating apps though. That's still going to suck probably. But that's how this works now. 

So away I go. (by the way, if you've always pined for me from afar, maybe let me know. Don't make me Bumble)

Good vibes everybody. Things get better.

B

Sunday, 5 June 2022

Biggest Year of My Life: Part 1 (I have a career now)

Hiya folks. Welcome back. Other than laziness, the main reason I wasn't on here much, was that things weren't really happening. I was stuck in a bit of a rut. There was some noteworthy stuff, but I didn't feel like talking about it. But TONS is happening now. Things I haven't even fully processed yet, but this should help with that. 

The theme of the next few of these that you (hopefully) read, is change. Each post will focus on a different aspect of what's changing for me, but by the end of the summer, pretty much everything in my life will be different. I'll try to go in order of events, so this one is about my worklife. 

Way back in 2002, I had just returned with my tail between my legs from almost 2 years living in Calgary (Alberta, Canada if you're not from around here). I do not at all regret my time there, but I won't pretend I "won" there either. I had just lost my second job in 2 months, and felt like the city had chewed me up and was ready to spit me out. I was too depressed to find other work, so I called up my parents, and had them come help me move home on a very snowy day in February. 

Of course, living unemployed at my parent's house was not going to be a long-term solution, so after licking my wounds for a couple of weeks, I started looking for work. I found it at Costco Wholesale. This was my third attempt at getting in, and this time it paid off. I was in!

2 weeks ago, I got out. 

If your math is good, you know that 20 years has gone by. Yep. Almost half of my life was there. In that time, I've literally seen customer's children grow up in front of me, and have kids of their own. That all happened to me as well, as a couple of years in, I met my future wife, with whom I have 3 present kids. We bought a house, and have 2 dogs and 2 cats. Through all of that the constant was Costco. 

I do appreciate my time there. I grew into the semi-functional adult I am today spending 300 days a year in that store. Most of my time was spent in electronics sales, but I've done about half of the available jobs over the 2 decades. I picked up a lot of soft skills, and worked with so many people. Most of them were great! Which is a pretty good ratio. 

The funny thing is, I always thought that one day, I'd impress someone with my customer service skills so much that they would offer me a better job on the spot. I was not always a model employee in every aspect of my run there, but I knew I was good with the customers and selling them what they were looking for. And I held on to the notion that I'd be noticed for that, and someone would come along and change my life. 

As that's a pretty delusional idea, I wasn't running around talking about it or anything. But it never really went away. But as I neared the 20 year milestone, it had never happened. 

But then it actually DID.

The wildest part of the story is that I wasn't even supposed to be working in that area on that fateful night. I was the Marketer, which in a pandemic meant that I worked the membership and returns desk. I'd been in that job about 2 years. But my old department "majors" didn't have a lot of trained staff, and was always running thin. So I was sent over to cover a lunch break. About a minute in, a well-dressed man walked up and said, "sell me a printer". So I pointed out how Epsons don't use cartridges and a few other things. Just did my thing. 

My "thing" apparently worked, because he told me that he was the Sales Director of Digitex and started asking me about my how I felt about my job and if I'd consider a change. He told me about his company and what a great opportunity it could be for me. Everything sounded great! But I wanted to be transparent with him, so I told him that my side hustle is stand up comedy. I really didn't know how that was going to be received. But he was even more interested! Having to network and essentially run a small business, along with being comfortable speaking in public and embracing awkward situations with confidence were very transferrable skills. One resume and a couple of solid interviews later, and I'm now a Business Development Consultant for Digitex/Xerox!

This was literally the thing I'd always wished for! That's right. I got "Pretty Woman"ed.

This was way back in March. A couple of things delayed the process of switching jobs, but now it's all systems go! I just survived my first week of training, and have had the chance to meet most of the staff from across Western Canada in person. Heading into the commission sales game, I expected a more aggresive and competitive culture. It hasn't been like that at all! Everyone supports each other and wants everyone to succeed. Sure there's targets and expectations, but I feel confident that I'll have the tools and support at my disposal to thrive. The money should be significantly better, and, more importantly, the schedule is office hours with flexibility! That's so valuable to me, with the other changes that are coming. (stay tuned for info on that). I'll have more time with the kids, and more flexibility to be busier with comedy. For now though, comedy will have to take a bit of a back seat, as I really want to focus on making this job, no this CAREER, as successful as I can. 

Leaving Costco was surreal. All that time there had made me comfortable and complacent. 
I'll miss the routine of the store, (even though it wasn't necessarily a healthy one), and my great coworkers, many I'd call friends. But it was time. The best possible time, honestly. I don't think I was ready for this chance two years ago. But now I feel like I can bring my best self to Digitex and my new clients in Red Deer and beyond.

 I'm so excited about this challenge, even though it meant taking a risk. The safety in knowing you can show up every day, make a decent living for your family, and that your spot is secure had me stuck. Sure, I pined for something better that I wasn't out actively chasing. I'll admit that. But what I at least did was put myself in a position to take advantage just in case something presented itself. 

Everything is changing, but for the better. Doing the same thing forever wasn't going to make anything improve. You have to shake things up and bet on yourself. 

Shake Shake baby.

B