Big Things and Baby Steps

So, things are good. Mostly. If anyone wants to dump a truck full of money on my lawn, that would be awesome, but otherwise, I'm feeling good about things. 

On the family front, I've really focused on being more engaged and present. That has meant saying no to things sometimes. I took a month off from Bull Skit (my improv troupe), and tried to be calculating about which stand up shows would be most beneficial to my progress, and skipping the rest. It's been great to be home more. Wifey has had a big increase in work stress, so I've been trying to lighten the load at home more. Cooking, entertaining the kids and just listening more. Having that solid foundation at home has helped me stay grounded for all the other stuff. Speaking of other stuff...

Like I said, Bull Skit took a back seat recently, and I now realize that the break was important. I love what we do there, and who I get to do it with, but it can be a lot to take on. Focus and enthusiasm are vital in producing the best shows that we can, and I noticed I was struggling to maintain that at certain points this season. They weren't always getting the best, most engaged version of me. And trust me, I'm not talented enough to coast through improv! Going the other way, the worst thing you can be for an improv team is the disgruntled, disruptive one. I felt a bit of that creeping in, and I'd never want to be a toxic influence to team chemistry. Luckily, this was the part of the season I had already selected to step away during. After having 4 rehearsals off, and now not being required at the theatre for this month's shows, I feel energized and excited to get back in the groove. Even better, we are wrapping up the season with our first ever improv festival, and I get to direct a format on closing night! I am so pumped about this, and because of a little self-care, I am ready to bring my best stuff to it.

As far as stand up goes, things have also been clicking along. I really feel a shift coming for whatever my "career" is. I've established myself somewhat as a reliable opener and functional MC for Red Deer shows. I'm still learning a lot doing local "booked mic" spots, but I'm hungry for more. I'm making more of an effort to perform in situations that could raise my profile. Contests and big-city rooms for example. To really take the next step, I need to play bigger rooms and have the chance to do longer sets. Obviously talent is kind of important for success, but just as big of a factor is your exposure and ability to network. It doesn't matter how good you are if no one knows how good you are...

Last weekend I had a really big contest in Calgary. FunnyFest is a pretty big deal, so I wanted to see where I was at compared to others in the scene. After what may have been the best set of my life, I finished 3rd. The top 2 advance to the finals, but I know what to adjust in my routine to finish even stronger next time, and I'm an alternate for the finals as well. Next up is Edmonton in a few weeks, and I think I'm going to have a good showing. 

I've also started producing my very own show in the town I grew up, Penhold, Alberta. Putting my own show together has been such a cool challenge. I get to pick the people I most want to work with, the venue is very helpful and supportive to what we're doing, and so far, the crowd has been fantastic. Both shows have been standing room only, with the last show drawing over 120 people! The next show is 7 days away, and I'm hoping that things stay strong. I keep tweaking things and trying to make the show even better. This fall I'm hoping to move to a ticketed show, instead of the donation system we're going with so far. I've had peers and friends step up huge for helping supply gear and such, but I'd like to have this show be profitable enough for me to buy all my own gear soon. 

So...yeah! Things are cool right now. My home and comedic lives are balanced right now. I'm ready to finish strong on Season 10 with Bull Skit, and I'm on the bubble of bigger things in stand up. All of this wouldn't be possible if my family, my friends and my comedy peers supporting me for the ride. Thank you all so much, and stay tuned for whatever happens next ! 

Peace!

B

Gratitude, Goals, and Greg

So, I just got back from holidays with the family, and I didn't even realize how much I needed it. I have a nasty habit of being anxious about what's on the horizon, and finding things to distract me from what's right in front of me. I hadn't noticed what a rut I was in, and how often I distance myself from my family. I've just been putting my head down and pushing forward at the expense of my relationships, my happiness and my mental health. Taking a break from everything was huge!

We spent a night away in Canmore, and spent the next day exploring Banff. We swam, we stayed in a hotel, we ate, we walked, we ate more, we walked more, and we ate more. It took me almost a full day to achieve, but I was able to decompress, relax and just enjoy spending time with my wife and children. Between my work schedule, my time at the theatre for Bull Skit Comedy, and my budding stand-up career, I'm not home much when everyone else is, and often when I am, fatigue, distraction or anxiety (sometimes all of them!) can make me seem gone even when I'm home. So all of this felt very good. I came back feeling refreshed and more connected to my loved ones. We also had some great Easter festivities at the end of the week, which again, being detached from my usual grind, I was able to be more engaged in. 

The holiday week off would have been great all on it's own, but I did have another important reason to re-center myself. Springtime in Central Alberta means stand-up contest season. Last year I wasn't committed enough to the craft to consider entering any, but this year I felt focused and seasoned enough to take the next step. I applied for three contests and a comedy festival, and was accepted into two of the contests. First up is this Saturday, where I'll compete in FunnyFest in Calgary. Then, in just over a month, I'll be in The Comic Strip in West Edmonton Mall, which is one of the top clubs in Canada. That contest is "Edmonton's Funniest Person With a Day Job", and winning it has kick-started many careers. A good showing at these could elevate me from grinding open mics, to a real working comedian.

 Doing well in these events has been both pushing me and stressing me out for weeks, but the week off has really helped realign my priorities. One moment in particular shook me out of my single-mindedness. Someone messaged me about the death of our mutual friend, Greg Bernard. I've spoken to him for less than an hour over the last twenty years or so, but I can say for a fact that I wouldn't have made it through high school without him. We were both struggling to fit in early on, and we bonded almost through necessity. We'd have sleepovers (like I alluded, we were horribly uncool), and have Earthworm Jim marathons (see?). We watched a lot of terrible movies, or just drove around aimlessly. Honestly, we weren't even that alike, but we really propped each other up through those difficult years. As the two of us stumbled into adulthood, we lost contact. 

I saw him about three years ago, and he looked rough. He was having problems with several of his organs, and was already medically retired in his mid-thirties. Those issues got worse, and took his life this week. 39 years old. Gone. The loss of someone I was close to, who was the exact same age as me has hit hard. He didn't have an accident, he wasn't a drug addict. He just got sick and died. I realized in my sadness that I'm not immune to that happening to me. Time is so finite, and I can't avoid facing that any longer. I NEED to be a better, more engaged husband and father. I NEED to examine my goals, figure out what's most worth chasing, and start running after it. I NEED to take better care of my body and mind, to allow those other things to be possible. I need to dream, work and love harder. I realized that winning these contests won't make me successful, nor losing them a failure. Win or lose, they are just part of the ride that I'm so grateful to be on, with so many loved ones supporting me. 

25 years ago, I needed Greg. On his way home, he came through for me one last time. 

I hope you find rest my friend. Thank you.

B