Hey folks! I figured I was way past due on an update on my shoulder situation. For those of you who are new here, a little over a week ago I had an operation for a torn labrum. Trust me spellcheck, it's a real word.
As I'm typing this with a sling on, I'm going to need you to read this slower to make it more authentic to the creation process. Cool? No. Slower than that.
Better.
My new sling is now a very important part of my life. Other than bathing (an activity that I'm not supposed to do solo), and straightening my arm for the required three sets of thirty per day, it's always there. It's been there for 12 days, and it's not going anywhere for the next 35 more.
So, this has been quite the adjustment...
It isn't really painful, as long as I don't do anything I'm not supposed to do, which is almost everything. More of a general discomfort and annoyance really. The first few days were pretty rough, with the recovery/medication taking a lot out of me. My energy levels were terrible. In some ways that was easier though, as for the last week I've felt closer to normal, but still can't do much. A guy gets twitchy.
It's not all bad though. My friends and family have been great. Checking up on me and taking me for outings. Which is great because losing the freedom to drive myself anywhere I want to is frustrating. My wife in particular has been amazing in so many ways. She took the first week off to give me whatever I needed, which gave us a ton of time together. We mostly spent that time watching really depressing shows together, which was lovely.
I also discovered that I can still play video games pain-free, so it won't be hard to fill the hours without her now that she's back to work. The hardest part about that is the guilt about not being able to pitch in around the house. In the morning I wake up the kids, and can slap together sandwiches, but that's about it. I can kind of wash (small) dishes, although I'm probably not even supposed to do that. But I can't help with laundry, sweep the floors or anything like that. It's hard to put all of that on her and not feel like a schmuck.
I'm also waiting for my disability insurance to kick in. Not having the steady paycheck is stressful. We're staying afloat, but it's hard not to feel like I'm bringing nothing to family right now. Not earning money. Not lightening the workload with all this time at home. It's tough.
But I'm grasping that this is all an exercise in surrender. I want to heal properly and for all this to work, so that I can get back to being me and doing more. That's going to mean accepting the full recovery process, and staying humble and letting people help me. I get my stitches out tomorrow and consult with the surgeon, so, we're getting there.
Stay tuned for more, because what else am I going to do?
B
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