Sketchfest Strikes Back!

Don't sit down with a diaper on.

That is one key lesson I learned recently during my favorite week of the year, the Alberta Sketchfest. If the name didn't hint towards it, Sketchfest is a three day festival featuring sketch comedy and "fringe"-style performances right in my hometown of Red Deer, Alberta. We had acts come in from as far away as Winnipeg and Los Angeles. My improv/sketch troupe Veal Skit also represented for the second year in a row.

Sketchfest 2.0!

Last year, for the debut of 'Fest, it was also a bit of a debut for Veal Skit. Three months prior, we had just produced our first sketch comedy show. We were able to use some of our best sketches in the festival, and we did just fine, but I think I speak for all of us in saying that we were "just happy to be there". The talent on display from the other groups was fantastic, and just being a part of such a show was it's own reward.

This year's version was going to be very different, not just for Veal Skit, but for me. If last year was our debut, this one would be our coming out party. Throughout the previous season, we had produced three sketch revues that we took a lot of pride in. We sort of knew what we were doing now, and we had the confidence to do it bigger and better than before. Our whole cast was able to show the packed house just how much we'd improved, and it felt awesome.

 I know for me personally, I had a ton of growth as a writer and performer, and have moved through at least some of my insecurities of being able to work on the level of the talent around me. For a large part of my first two seasons, I constantly had to keep convincing myself that I belonged. When promoting our shows, I'd often say "Come! There'll be tons of great, funny people there, and I'll be there too!". I didn't feel like I was pulling my weight with the others in my own group sometimes, let alone being at a festival with some of the best acts in Western Canada and beyond. I was always afraid that I was just being dragged along behind other, more talented people.

Throughout all that though, I never stopped working hard to improve myself. I wanted to be a more useful member of my company, and be relied upon to deliver whatever my group needs from me. With the help of some great workshops that Jenna (our director) organized, and the support of the troupe and my family, I'm feeling like I CAN be that now. At least more often. With one exciting new addition to Sketchfest, I was about to test exactly how much I'd improved!

DK Reinemer was our guest from LA, and he wanted to try something crazy. Called "Collabojamma", it was a group comprised of some of the participants of the festival, working together for the first time. I didn't want to miss the chance to be a part of it, so I signed up. Basically, on the Friday of the festival, DK explained his company's creative process, and we utilized it to come up with some sketch premises. The following morning we wrote them. Eight hours later, we put on twenty minutes of hilarious sketches that didn't even exist the day before. Mind. Blown.

The Collabojamma Set List

The best part of this whole thing was that with the compressed timeline, you didn't have time to question yourself, or change your mind about something last minute, because it was ALL last minute. You had to dive in, give every step of the process your best work, and trust that it would be enough. There was no other option. I realize looking back that a year ago, I would never have survived this. Well, I wouldn't have DIED, but I wouldn't have brought much to the table, and the others would have had to pick up my slack. But I really felt like I delivered, and added to this amazing thing we created together. I'm so grateful for the chance to tackle something so challenging with such a great, supportive group! 

Team Collabojamma. I'm the weirdo in the back. DK is Mr. Solo Cup.

Yeah, I learned a lot about adult diapers, but I learned more than just that. Bring on Bull Skit Season Nine. I'm ready.

-Cupid Cop

Reckless enthusiasm > Judgement

Ok.

It's time to drop some confessions here. 

For most of this year, hell, most of my LIFE, I've been letting anxiety, fear and worry paralyze me. Those thoughts and feelings have just always been there, lurking over my shoulder. Inhibiting my creativity. My relationships. My motivation. My ability to enjoy any moment. My self worth and trust in my abilities. 

I'm really tired of this happening. There's so much I want to do, and say, and be. But I shut myself down before I even start. The gap between what I want to produce and achieve, and my perception of what I can actually do is sometimes pretty large. And that gives me an easy excuse to not really try. 

It impacts so many parts of my life. My writing is a big one. I'll second-guess myself before I even put a word on a page and nothing gets done. It affects my family, when I get deep into my head about all the things I'm failing at, or the bills, or next week's schedule, I'm robbing them of our time together. I'm never fully present. It also really limits me as an improvisor, because being completely committed and present on stage is so important. And if you're stressed out about failing, you're going to fulfill that prophecy. 

So what changed?

I met Jorin Garguilo.

Jorin is an improvisor with over 20 years of experience. He performs and teaches out of Chicago, the Mecca of improv. He's a very smart, positive and enthusiastic teacher. Over the past weekend, he worked with Bullskit for over 16 hours, culminating in a show where we got to share our stage with him. 

Coming out of the previous Bullskit season, I was struggling with my improv. I wasn't enjoying myself that much. I was worried about not pulling my weight on the team, and it even got to a point where I questioned if I belonged with them sometimes. I over-analyzed everything I was doing. 

When Jorin started speaking to us though, it was like he knew exactly what I needed to hear. I can't even count how many brilliant things I soaked in over the weekend, but one particular line resonated the most.

"Have a party onstage that the audience desperately wants to be invited to "

Now, what that line meant for me was "if you're not having a blast up there, you're doing it wrong." I was too stuck in my head to enjoy what we do up there. 

Kind of a revelation...

Later in the workshop, he asked each cast member what we look for and enjoy most in our scenes. I told the group that I usually worry too much about technique and "doing it right", and that I most enjoy scenes that have no judgement. Scenes where we are having a ridiculously fun time. Scenes that, even if they aren't solid on a technical level, everyone in the room is laughing at and causing a lot of joy to happen. I think that, if I focus on doing that every time I go on stage, the technical stuff will work it's way in there eventually. But fun comes first for me now. It has to. 

When we got to play with Jorin that night, it was exactly what I was hoping for. I was outright gleeful the whole time up there. I couldn't stop smiling at what we were creating, and by the end of the set, I was just laughing uncontrollably. It was joyful and free of judgement and anxiety. Through dropping my perfectionism, I had a perfect moment.

The weekend was kind of a whirlwind, but now that I have time to reflect, I realize that once again, an improv lesson is actually a life lesson. Less thinking. More feeling. Less brain. More heart. Less judgement. More enthusiasm. Less fear. More passion. 

The fact that I'm writing this right now means it working. So far anyway...

Recklessly yours, 

B

Improv: Tales from a Sophomore Chump

I sit here basking in glee and rum. I just returned home from my improv troupe's student showcase, where our public workshop students get to show off what they've learned in front of family and friends. My sub-group Veal Skit gets to headline these shows. Some of my friends were in the classes this time, and I got as much joy watching them as I did performing myself. 

Like an improv junkie, I flashed back to that feeling of first getting to do this. The feeling of getting up in front of random people and doing random things. Almost exactly two years ago, I was up there doing my first student show. I felt that first jolt of adrenaline.  That rush I can't stop chasing. 

I've been wanting to write here about improv, but I keep dancing around it. I think I've found the subject a bit daunting. There is so much I want to say about it, that I haven't known where to start. Looking back on what keeps me coming back seems like a good choice, so here goes...

Why I love improv

-THE PEOPLE 

I'm sure that every subculture has some sense of camaraderie, and people of similar interests form bonds, but improv takes that to another level. It's all hugs, high-fives and support. All the time. Any negativity or judgement is so rare. The stressful situations that happen on stage and the vulnerability we display creates deep friendships. It's hard not to love that environment. 

-LOSING FEAR

I don't always show it, but I'm an anxious guy. New things and a change of routine freak me out. Improv has pushed me to look past those issues.  Attempting new things has gone from terrifying to exciting.  This week I joined in my daughter's silks dance class for parent's night.  The old me still would have attended, but would have been too self-consious to have any fun. I would have been looking around the room, afraid to look foolish in front of the teacher and parents. Now I look foolish all the time, and have learned that those times are the most fun.  

-THE MENTAL RE-WIRING

From the very first class, improv showed me a new way of looking at, well, everything. Every exercise, no matter how odd and silly, pushes my boundaries and perspective. Group mind, presence, positivity, acceptance and quick-thinking are the foundations of improv, and I find I apply them to so many situations daily. Everything from handling a difficult work conversation, to how I react to stress or talk to my children has completely changed. It's like mental yoga (although also similar to yoga, I've noticed that people who don't do it don't really want to hear about it). I'm more mentally flexible when life throws me curveballs now, and yes, I really do think I'm funnier (or at least quicker in getting to the bad zinger now). It's not automatic though, and I still struggle with aspects sometimes, especially being present in the moment. I really suck at that one. But I'm getting better all the time. 

-UNBRIDLED CREATIVITY

I haven't seen any other art form or performance that has the pure creative spirit of improv. Maybe jazz I guess, but even those guys need a pile of fancy instruments to make the magic happen. An improv troupe can perform anywhere at anytime with nothing to work with. I've really enjoyed performing sketch comedy as well, but they are such different experiences. Yes, in sketch, the laughs tend to be more consistent and you can expect a certain polish and quality to a sketch routine. In improv though, the laughs can be bigger and the highs much higher, as everyone in the room, on both sides of the stage, can share a moment so spontaneous and singular that it hits you somewhere deeper. Everyone in that moment knows how special and fleeting it was. The sad part of that magic is that you really did "have to be there". Telling the story the next day never has the same effect as telling someone a joke you saw on TV. It's also why improv doesn't normally succeed televised. The energy in the room is a huge part of the experience. It's just the best. 

That's just a sample of why this stuff is so great. Why I can't shut up about it, and why I keep coming back for more. 

Making it up as I go along

B 

Knocking the dust off my blog and myself

Hello faithful reader! Thanks for sticking around! I hope you weren't just sitting in front of your screen this whole time, waiting for your next serving of Wunderbrad.... You did? Oh. Awkward....

No, it's not pathetic. Really. I'm flattered! Thank you. And...sorry. I shouldn't have made you wait three months. Fortunately, I have so many handy excuses for you!

1. Christmas happened. I work in retail, and am a typical Western consumer. That tends to result in a derailment of the ol' routine for December. I also played Santa in a sketch show. And a staff party.

2. Once I let said routine derail, it kinda stayed that way. I'm starting to understand the power of habits, both good and bad. I seem to have more of the latter...

3. On the subject of bad habits, I now own a Playstation 4. If you feel you have too much motivation and find you're just too productive, then you should pick up a PS4. You won't have those problems anymore.


 On a more serious note, I think I got a little bit depressed for a bit there as well. Not sure what caused it, if anything. Could be the cold dreary weather, or the hectic schedule I was running, or the fact that my semi-regular yoga stopped in October. Maybe a little bit of all those things and more, if I wanted to keep looking. The point is, I wasn't feeling right for quite some time. I wasn't a complete mess or anything like that, but everything just seemed a little more difficult than usual, and nothing felt balanced. I let a lot of negative thoughts take up way too much room in my head. I started feeling hesitant and less committed to my improv. I wasn't giving my family the love and support they needed from me, especially Wifey. Any type of writing, be it this blog, comedy sketches, or comic scripts, seemed impossible to focus on.

Things have been getting better recently, mostly thanks to Wifey. We've been together for over a decade now, and she's gotten pretty good at figuring me out. I used to hit these low points a lot more often in our early days, and neither of us handled them very well back then. This time around, she has been amazing. I've been distant, moody and not very useful, while she's been patient, understanding and has kept me moving forward, even if I couldn't go full-speed.

I also came across a great new career opportunity that I HAD to take a shot at. My retail gig has been good to me, but I yearn for a 9 to 5 situation. It would make the family/improv juggling act much easier. So I got a resume together for the first time in 15 years and took a shot at it. I found out yesterday that I didn't get the position, but I'm not upset about it. I'm proud of myself for going for it. The next time something that sweet comes along, I'll be even more prepared for it.

The last thing that snapped me out of my funk was The Kinkonauts. They are a talented improv theatre company in Calgary that Bullskit has worked with on a few occasions. They were hosting a 26 hour improv marathon and I was able to join in the fun for the closing hours of the show. One of my big goals this year was to improvise with more people and stretch my horizons as a performer. This event was a great chance to do that, and I wanted to have the best experience possible. On the trip down with my partner-in-crime Scott, we got ourselves into a headspace where we could do our best. When I hit the stage, I was ready to play. I got to share the stage with folks I admire, and met several more that I can't wait to work with again. It all went even better than I hoped. The show reminded me why and how much I love performing improv, and now I'm chomping at the bit to get back to rehearsal.

Here's supposed to be the part where I boil down all that rambling into something coherent and inspirational right? Well it should be obvious by now that I don't have everything figured out yet. Sorry. Wrong blog. I am hoping that one of you readers finds a needle of wisdom in this massive haystack of a post. All I know is, I'm a better man now than I was ten years ago. I'm doing things that the old me would be terrified to try. I'm surrounded with awesome people at home, at work and on stage. Most of all, I'm starting to trust myself. Whether it's a resume, a blog post, or a parody song, I'm trying not to listen to the critic in my head that wants to convince me that everything I'm about to try is going to be terrible. 

I'll let you guys tell me that instead ;)

 It's OK to fall sometimes. Keep getting up. Knock that dust off.

B