Article Aftermath and More!

So, in June I wrote an article, This article actually, for the Comedy Tribune. The article was first conceived from a place of anger. I had been called out for how distant, busy and distracted I've been from my comedy habit. I was mad about it, so the piece started as me trying to rationalize and justify myself. To explain how this was how I had to do it. Once I realized what I was saying and had the situation laid out literally right in front of my face, my whole perspective changed. 

I was not okay. I was not properly supporting the most important people in my life. I was blind to how obsessed I'd become with chasing my dream, that I didn't realize what I could lose, WAS losing, in the process. My family, friends and personal well-being were all suffering. I had to find some balance.

I'll admit now, that even the article itself wasn't a balanced look at the situation. It barely mentioned anything that wasn't comedy. (And this one won't either.) But that was kind of the point though. That I didn't have my shit together AT ALL. It wasn't me saying that I had changed and that everything was fine now. It was a starting point to making things better. 

So....how's that going, you may be asking?

Better, in short. Not all the way better, but better. 

I had a couple of big shows to wrap up after the article dropped, then I planned on slowing down. Not quite stopping, but taking my foot off the gas. I think that really helped make those last couple of sets much stronger, because I did have  a "treat every set like it could be your last" mentality going in. I knew the break was coming, and was excited about it. 

After I got through those, I had almost two weeks without any stage time, then only did about a show a week for the next two. It felt good to unplug. I didn't write. I didn't go to shows. I just checked out, and tried to reconnect with my family and friends. 

I didn't get upset about the shows that I could be on and wasn't. I enjoyed not having that take up space in my head. Oddly though, I did get upset about HOW unconcerned I was about not hustling. I surprised myself with that. Doubts about how badly I wanted to succeed lingered. But for the most part, I was at peace with it. 

I also put a lot of thought into what exactly I want from this, in what time-frame, and what I'm willing to do to achieve it. That led me to consider that I've probably graduated from complete rookie to pseudo-competent amateur, which is nice, but there's easily fifty or more comics in this province floating around at the same position as me. Separating from the pack could take years if it happens at all. So that means I have to adjust my expectations. 

I have, to a degree, proven myself to the bigger comedy scene as a guy who can deliver an adequate set in general. That means that I don't need to head to other cities as often to stay visible anymore. In fact I'd rather go less often, with more growth to showcase, than to be around all the time blending in with the rest of the big-city talent. There's also more local stage time than ever, so I won't need to chase time elsewhere to keep improving. 

I've also learned that there's no one magical show that will change my career path forever in either direction. Every set is just another inch forward. That's a good place to be, because I don't have as much jealousy about someone else's opportunities. As much fear of missing a "big show". Things will happen (maybe) when they are supposed to. It's okay to say "no". I turned down a Calgary contest mainly because win or (probably) lose, it wasn't going to be a big enough deal to burn the gas money and the time. I'm trying to be more calculating than ever about where my time and money should go. I don't need to do it all. 

Now I check these questions before saying yes to a gig. 

How much will I learn?

Who's there that I can network with?

How much will it cost me in money or time? Does it pay?

How much fun will it be?

If the answers aren't good enough, it's a no. That's the way it has to be now. I love spending time with my wife. I don't want to miss my children growing up. I don't want to ignore my friendships. Those things matter, and need to be a priority. 

Of course, I'm typing this as I prepare for one of four shows I'm on this week. So I'm still saying yes a lot. Things will still be hard to juggle. I don't think perfect balance is even possible. But I'm being mindful now. And that's helping.

Thanks for reading,

B

New Rules?

Hey folks! Before I recap my very eventful last couple of months in comedy, I figure I should drop a quick health update after the diabetes diagnosis. 

Well...things are okay I think. I've cut sugar by probably two thirds, and carbs by maybe half. Through that I've lost about 10 pounds. So, progress! I haven't had an easy time navigating whatever is next though. I haven't had a follow up with the doctor I was consulting with. He's not taking new patients these days, so I've kind of been floating around with not much support. I've decided to call HealthLink about how one finds a good doctor who can be available for me going forward. Now that I'm in my forties, newly diabetic with an impending shoulder operation, it would be nice to get a solid home base for my medical needs. I coasted for two decades doing the clinic thing. Not for me anymore though. I need to make bigger changes, and I'm not on top of this on my own. So, yeah. I'm doing okay, but just okay. Stay tuned for more info later.

When I'm not stressed out about my health, my favourite past time is stressing about my comedy career, so let's get into that!

Reeeeaaally late last Friday, as three of us were driving back to Red Deer from Lethbridge (my first "comedy sleepover"), I was feeling soap-boxy, so I was ranting about my "rules of stand up". Not that I have much business telling anyone how to do this "right", but despite that, I have found a few things valuable. 

1. Be funny.

2. Be nice. 

Those were my first two. Not exactly ground-breaking, but so important. If you deliver onstage on average, and are easy to deal with offstage, you will get ahead at some point. As I returned from my fourth show in two different cities over two days, I was telling my captive car audience about my new third rule.

3. Ask for what you want, but expect nothing. 

This new one had caused some big growth over the last few months for me, and really impacted this week in particular. Wednesday we were in Edmonton for two shows. One was a showcase in the biggest comedy club in the city, then Zachary Landry and I had a contest in a comedy theatre right after. We first discovered that weekday shows at The Comic Strip aren't the hottest ticket sometimes, as we were facing a crowd of maybe twenty people, and they were not going to be easy laughers. Some of the Edmonton comics got really tight facing such a tough situation, but for Zachary and I, (especially him), we have seen some really rough rooms in Red Deer, and we didn't come into this show expecting to kill. So we just had fun with it. Same thing with the contest after. Neither of us thought we had a win locked down, but we had a blast in front of a really fun crowd. Many of the other comics in attendance were really complimentary after, and having them on our side is way more important than a single contest win. We kept our expectations low and focused on doing our best and having fun. 

That mindset carried over to Lethbridge, where the two of us were joined by Niek Theelen for the trip. We roll in Thursday night to find the club owner double-booked, so we ended up running the open mic. Everyone had a blast. The next night was the roast battle, and again, we all tried to not worry about winning as much as giving the situation all that we had and keeping it fun. That led to Zachary and I shirtlessly roasting each other as the host joined in and people threw change. We didn't win, but that was one of the biggest moments of the show. I also had to do a regular set as people were taking intermission, and once again, if I expected that to go great, I wasn't going to be happy. Instead, I just took the moment for what it was and bared down. 

So I was feeling pretty good about my new rule heading into the next show I produce in Penhold on the Saturday. The last show out there was so fun, and I "expected" (uh huh) that this show would finally pull a big crowd and actually be financially successful. Even though it was Easter weekend. 

As I got ready to start the show for the nine people in attendance, I was a mess. Pissed off and unsatisfied, I carried that negativity to the stage. I wasn't appreciative enough of the few folks who were there to support the show. I could only focus on the empty seats. So not only did I not do well as a producer, I also bombed pretty hard as host. None of us will call that show one for the ages, that's for sure. 

It took me two more days and a lot of talking it out with others to realize that I totally broke my new rule. Expectations locked me into, "I'm only going to be satisfied if THIS happens." Instead, If I was to tweak my approach to get that small crowd on my side and to show them love for coming, everyone could have had a better night. Especially me. 

So yeah. If I'm going to wax poetic on how to make comedy work, I have to keep myself in check about it. 

I'm very lucky to have some people in my corner that will call me out on my bullshit. Because I need that a lot. 

I've got the biggest contest of the year next week. I'm going to bring the best stuff I can. I'm going to focus on having fun. What I'm not going to do is expect to win.

Thanks...

B

A Health Wrinkle

So, I went in to get a referral on my shoulder issues, and that meant running some tests. Most of the tests came back great, except my blood test came back with an issue.

I have diabetes.

Feels weird to type. Feels weird to say. I'm not used to it yet. 

Don't get me wrong. I knew something was coming. I eat mostly garbage and am probably 20 (Okay 40) pounds overweight. But I always thought the heart attack was going to be what got me. My dad's had 2. Both grandfathers had them. But nope. You know how some people have ice in their veins? Apparently I have Slurpee. 

I make jokes, because that's what I do, but this sucks. I'm scared. I'm angry. There's a ton I don't know yet. (My meeting with the diabetes nurse is pending.) At this point, the doctor said I don't need to monitor levels yet or need medication, so that's good. But I have to stop eating all the things I eat. All of 'em. Hot dogs, burgers, nachos, beer, and Pepsi. All gone. Just like pasta, pretty much all bread, donuts, sugar in my coffee, white rice. Oh, and my wife is the best baker I know. Sigh...

So...yeah. I'm pretty much in mourning for the old me right now. It's okay if you don't have a lot of pity. I know this is not the sexiest or most dramatic of conditions. It's the "take better care of yourself fatty" of diseases. I have to be a healthy person now. This had made me feel pretty vulnerable and fragile, but I have a concrete reason to work harder. There's stakes now. Getting healthy was always a vague "it would be nice to look and feel better" thing, but now it's a "I like my feet and being able to see" thing. I don't want this to get me. I want to be here for my family, and not just here, but functional. The doctor was very clear that diet and exercise can eliminate all symptoms of diabetes. So that's where we're at. I have to educate myself, make changes, and be disciplined. Those things haven't been my jam in the past, but I will put in the work. 

Thanks for putting up with my pity party. Carry on. 

B

New Year Check In

So...New Years, huh? People tend to use this time to reflect on what last year was, and what next year could be. The combination of holiday craziness and my general laziness is causing this to happen a couple of weeks into the year. 

Hey this is free. Sorry not sorry....

Seriously though, 2018 was quite a year I must say. Every month, I dug in a little harder on stand-up comedy. Which resulted in the following things:

-I started producing my own comedy shows in January. By the end of the year, I'd delivered 8 shows to 3 different venues, with average crowds of around 60. 

-I competed in 4 different contests. 2 in Edmonton and 2 in Calgary. 

-I tripled the amount of sets I've done in a year, and more than doubled my total amount. 

-I tried roast battles and found I don't suck at them.

-I led an intro to stand-up workshop. 

-To start the year, my longest set was a shaky 15 minutes. By year's end, I had done a couple of decent 30 minute sets. 

-I closed out two shows, one in Calgary, and dipped my toe in the corporate event waters. 

-I was nominated for Comedian of the Year at the Red Deer Entertainment Awards. 

Not bad huh?

I'll admit, I was pretty proud of these things. There was even some cockiness creeping in, until I kept the following in mind:

-I didn't advance past the first round in any of those contests. 

-I was almost never the best performer on any show I was on. 

-I only sold out 2 of the shows I produced. 

-I often felt I wasn't focused enough. 

-My 30 minutes isn't that tight yet. 

-While I don't suck at roasts, I'm not a true killer on them yet. 

So....good things happened, progress was made, but realistically, all I've really done is become a solid piece of the tiny Red Deer comedy scene and am managing (usually) to not make a show I'm on worse. That's not nothing, but I've only really advanced from rookie to novice. I made strides, but I'm still just an open-mic amateur in a small city. There's pros and cons to that. I'm under the radar, so I can develop with less pressure, but that also means as I do improve, it's hard to gain traction and attention. 

Looking back on the year was easy, but looking ahead has been trickier. I don't expect to see the same amount of growth as I had before. I think that will slow down. I still have a ton to learn as a writer and performer, but I think the lessons will be smaller and less frequent. You're bound to see change the first year you commit harder to any pursuit, but that level of change is rarely sustainable. 

I've also found, as I adjusted my priorities last year, how much I had been missing at home. It took a few weeks/months, but I'm more settled just being at home with my wife and kids more. Being present with them has been so great! So I want to move forward with care. Sure, running as hard as possible with no regard for anything else in my life could accelerate my career. COULD. But, nothing is promised to me. All my passion and effort could lead to staying right around where I am, so I'd rather try to keep a little balance in my life and not force things. Sure, I may miss out on certain opportunities. I actually turned down a contest spot last week for a family event. But that's fine. I don't want to gamble with the important people in my life for something that may never come. 

"Success" is pretty ethereal in comedy. I know a few comics who have "made it" by most people's measure, but they are still hustling to fill the calendar and usually perform for people who have no clue who they are. It's never going to be easy, and may never be profitable. So I'm trying to relax about goals and milestones. I told my comedy workshop that if you can walk off the stage having had fun, while taking something away that'll make you better, and made the crowd happy, you're a successful comedian. I need to practice the preaching. 

That being said, it's not a bad idea to set some targets. After all, a 30 minute set wasn't on the horizon until I made it a goal. There are things I want to strive for. I want to keep improving of course, but I want to increase my visibility. Especially in the clubs. If I want to take any steps toward going pro, "passing" the clubs is a key part of that. I have to get Calgary and Edmonton to notice where I'm at. I also want to make the finals in at least one contest this year. Comedy contests are very subjective, but if you aren't clearly good enough to advance past the first round, then you need to work. Lastly, I really want to open for a headliner on the road. I want to see what that's like, and to see how I handle it. If I struggle or it causes too much stress for my homelife, I want to know, so I can adjust to that. 

Overall, I just want to stay active, stay joyful, and be "around" for when opportunity knocks. 

Bring it on, 2019!

B

The Magic of Trying

I'm incredibly inspired right now. I just got off the stage I shared with my improv troupe, Bull Skit. But I wasn't back to do improv. Not the way I used to anyway. 

This time I was there to do a set of stand up, alongside Zachary Landry, and then we let the crowd pick our topics. Fully improvised stand up comedy. Even my fellow improvisers, people who make up amazing things every week, were terrified for us. I'm not going to pretend that either of us delivered pure gold, but that wasn't really the goal. It was more, "Can we even pull this off at all?"

And yes. We did that!

How it was going to go was secondary to doing it at all. 

Tonight was just one of many nights that drove the same lesson home. I dug into the backlog of this blog and found this:

Reckless Enthusiasm > Judgement 

Two years ago, that was me trying to push past my own fears and need for perfection. The last few weeks have been me on the other side of that and moving further away from those issues every day. 

I had the chance to teach an intro to stand up workshop, because while I'm no pro, I can definitely pass on what I've learned on my journey so far. The one lesson that I tried to pass on that hit me hardest was:

"Don't overestimate the stakes of any situation. No matter how great or terrible you think a set went, when you wake up tomorrow, you'll be the only person who was in that room who's still thinking about it. Even if it was extra memorable in either direction, That statement still runs true the day or week after. People are too self-involved to reflect on what you did that one night."

I'm a struggling, unknown, amateur comedian. People still notice me more for my day job then anything comedy related. And there's SO. MUCH. FREEDOM IN THAT! I don't have to play it safe. I don't have a career to ruin. If I stink up an open mic, there's another one coming the week after. I can screw up. Get weird. Take risks. Say yes to every challenge. 

And no matter how any of that goes, everything is going to be fine. Better than fine, because I'm not worried about the result. I don't have to be. I just have to do the thing, and learn from the thing. That's it! 

-Six months ago, I looked at roast battles and said to myself, "I'm not that kind of comedian". That was fear of failure talking. Now I've done three that went passably well, and I'm gearing up for my next one. And at one of those battles, a veteran comic gave me some kind words and told me "when you've got thirty minutes ready, let me know and you can head on the road with me." At the time, that felt like a really high hurdle to jump. A month ago, I did my first twenty minute set, and my first thirty is four weeks away. I just decided to try. 

-A year ago, running my own show seemed like a dream. Six shows later, I'm a comedy promoter.

-Even then, I was baby-stepping my way into it, then Simon King called looking to partner up on some dates in the area for early December. The rub was I had to cold-call a handful of venues to try to book the shows. That was scary, but yesterday I booked a show that could make me hundreds of dollars. 

-There are guys in my scene that two years ago were way ahead of me. Then I shifted focus and committed to getting at it. I just hit one hundred sets this month. Three months ago I was barely over seventy. A year prior less than half of that. Now, I feel I'm passing those guys. Not because I'm funnier than them. I'm just doing more. Pushing myself. Just plain trying. 

Which leads me to tonight, where I decided to face forty people, and have them shout things like "Addiction treatment!" "Jello Shots!" and "Russian Hackers!" at me, and had to try to deliver comedy on the spot about them. Was it scary? Kind of, yeah. Did I kill? Not hardly. But did I prove to myself that it's something I can do? Yep. 

Most of the things above didn't execute to perfection. None of them really. But if I hadn't tried them, I'd be back where I already was. And failing any of those things wouldn't have put me back any further than that. I lost nothing by trying. NOTHING! I didn't let doubt or anxiety slow me down. I didn't let others talk me out of them. 

By traditional standards, I'm nowhere near "success". I'm not making money at this. No one knows me yet. My material and stage presence have a long way to go. But I'm pushing and challenging myself, and taking something away from every swing and miss. That feels like a win. Or at least puts me a position to win when the time comes. 

Keep trying everybody,

B

Bombing, Dark Stuff, and What I Learned From Them.

After performing at a couple of roast battles, I had a shift in how I came up with material. Having to write mean, dirty, and dark jokes about people started bleeding into the my other writing. Out of nowhere one afternoon I wrote a very dark new bit about child kidnapping that moved through pedophilia, murder and prostitution. It was difficult stuff for sure. Way out of my usual voice, and more serious and challenging for a crowd to get into. I wanted to stretch my creativity with stuff like this. I respect the Stanhopes, Burrs, and Simon Kings of the world that can nail difficult premises and get people laughing about subjects they want nothing to do with. I wanted to know if I could pull that off just like them. 

Turns out not so much...

 That night I was at an open mic and gave the crowd the choice to hear the new bit. They regretted saying yes, as I took them to some heavy places. Some of the crowd did laugh, but I ended up walking a table of ladies at the end of my set. "Walking a Table" means you caused people to leave by being bad or hard to take onstage. That had never happened to me before. And fairly, in that coffee shop, in the daylight, with no one drinking, that material was really hard to hear. 

I completely understood that, and knew that I could try the stuff again on a "Dark and Dirty Show" that was coming up a couple of months later. That show was last week. I wanted to know how this stuff would fly in a place that is better suited to hear it. 

Flying did not happen. I could feel the crowd tightening as I got into it. I knew I had to keep confident and push ahead. Letting them rattle you out of a bit is always doom. As I hit the darkest part of the bit, they got me. I stepped out of it and yelled at them. "This is a dark and dirty show! You came for this!" I did this at the expense of the part of the joke where I try to spin them out of it to get the laugh. By the end of it, two tables had walked, and complained about me on the way out. The crowd completely hated me, and were seconds away from outright booing me. I've never seen anyone get booed at these shows. Even when I first started, I never bombed like that. The stink of the shame hung on me the rest of the night. People I'd normally chat up on the way out wouldn't come near me. Even the staff looked at me different. 

After I had a couple of days to process everything I felt after, here's what I came away with:

-When doing material like this, the first step is to get them on their heels and make them uncomfortable. You want to build a tangible sense of tension. I had that down for sure. The problem is, step two is to pop that tension balloon in a way that gets them laughing, usually extra hard to release that nervous energy. I couldn't nail that part. 

-So why couldn't I? The shortest answer is I'm just not good enough yet. My writing isn't strong enough to have the bit precisely built to manipulate the tension. My delivery of the material wasn't good enough to have them on my side, and my level of stage confidence and poise is too low to handle that hostility and pivot into a laugh when it wasn't going well. All of those things. 

-Stand Up is the ability to relay your ideas to an audience in a way that they understand and find funny. I didn't execute that for those reasons above. I'd never blame the crowd for reacting the way they did, because I didn't do my job. The more challenging the concept you're trying to deliver, the better you have to be at those skills. 

-The other main thing I realized is that I need to be liked up there. I NEED it. When they didn't come on that messed up road I was trying to drag them down, and they turned on me, I couldn't handle it. Some comics live in that place, and love it. I was so uncomfortable. I need to assess going forward if I need to get more comfortable with being unlikable, or cater my material to stay in my happy place. 

The next question is, what's next for that material and do I regret doing it?

No. Not at all.

The only way to determine if you can do something is to take a swing at it. I struck out bad, but at least I know now. The lessons I took away were worth how gross it all felt at the time. 

However, now that I have that info, I don't need to go back to the well anytime soon. Yes, I could keep chipping away at that bit. Refining it until it hits. But how many more terrible shows would I have to get there? How many tables would I walk trying to get that joke right, and how many showrunners would want to keep letting me try at the expense of their show? It's not worth that. None of my material is worth that. If I keep progressing as a comic in general, at some point in the future I can go back to this bit, blow the dust off and be able to adjust it with more experience. I can get it to where it needs to be much faster, and with less traumatized crowds on the way there. 

So for now, it's going on the shelf until I have the chops to do it right. 

Thanks for reading as always

B

Anatomy of a Brad Joke

So far, diving into stand-up has been great. I've been putting in lots of sets, and writing steady. I've actually had a couple of friends ask me recently about how the jokes come out. It's not always the same way every time, and I have no idea how professionals do it, but I CAN tell you how the joke I wrote yesterday came along. I can't promise it's good, or even close to being finished, but it's fresh, and I want to talk about it. Here we go. 

DISCLAIMER

I am a huge comedy nerd, and if you aren't, this may suck for you. Sorry. 

I was at work yesterday (electronics retail sales), and in a slow moment, I looked around and realized that most of what I sell is pretty frivolous. Which led me to think about the process of selling stuff to people that they may think they need, but probably don't. So that got me to the PREMISE. 

The next step is the SETUP. An effective setup should, well, set the table for where you're about to take the crowd. (Or about to completely subvert that expectation, but that's not what I'm going for here). 

"I like my job, but it's weird selling people stuff they don't need." 

This is a pretty traditional type of joke, so I'm heading straight to the PUNCHLINE. For this punchline, I tried to make an analogy that related what talking semi-useful tech stuff to customers is like.

"Selling iPads to old people makes me feel like a missionary in the Amazon trying to sell Jesus to a pygmy."

Now, this punch isn't that strong. It's OK, but the comparison I'm trying to make may not be that clear yet. It needs something at the end to drive it home. This is usually called a TAG. In this case, I'm going to use a type of tag that's really popular, but one I don't tend to use, called an ACT OUT. I'm pretending that I'm either at my job, or the missionary using the same sales pitch. 

"I know. You've been getting by just fine your whole life without this, but I really think this is going to give your life some meaning. Besides, your friends and family already have it, and you don't want to feel left out do you?"

That's a joke! I have no idea if it's going to work, because I haven't told it yet. But it was fun trying to wrestle that general idea into something that's hopefully funny. To get 30 plus minutes of solid material, (which is my current goal) I'm going to have to write 3 to 4 times that much and whittle it all down to something tight, consistent and hilarious. This joke may end up in that set as is, or change completely on it's way in, or be told a couple of times and dropped. I have no idea what will happen yet, but I'm excited to find out, and to keep pumping out 1000 more of these. 

Thanks for still being awake and reading this. I appreciate you for digging the craft of this enough to check this out. 

Cheers,

B